POTPOURRI



GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
  1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
  2. When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
  3. If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
  4. Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
  5. You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
  6. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
  7. Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
  8. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
  9. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
  10. The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
  1. Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
  2. Wrinkles don't hurt.
  3. Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
  4. Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
  5. Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
  6. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
  1. Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.
  2. Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
  3. When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
  4. You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
  5. It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
  6. Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
  7. Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
  1. You believe in Santa Claus.
  2. You don't believe in Santa Claus.
  3. You are Santa Claus.
  4. You look like Santa Claus.
SUCCESS:
  • At age 4 success is . . not peeing in your pants.
  • At age 12 success is having friends.
  • At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
  • At age 35 success is . having money.
  • At age 50 success is . . . having money.
  • At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
  • At age 75 success is . having friends.
  • At age 80 success is . not peeing in your pants.
Pass this on to someone who could use a laugh.

Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day. Have a wonderful day with many *smiles*



Wise Sayings

  1. Age is only funny on your birthday.
  2. When you are young you exaggerate your age.
  3. When you are old you exaggerate your age!
  4. If we all agreed on everything, life would be boring.
  5. It is said those you have always get more.
  6. Those who have nothing will never have anything.
  7. The poor we will always have with us.
  8. There are no pockets in a shroud.
  9. Death is no respecter of age.
  10. A smile is a treasure to possess.
  11. Use a smile and you win a smile.
  12. Laughter is the best medicine.
  13. Half a loaf is better than no bread.
  14. Water is a commodity above value.
  15. The man with no shoes lamented until he met someone with no feet.
  16. A dog is man's best friend.
  17. A cat brings comfort and peace to those in sorrow.
  18. Camels do not carry water in their humps.
  19. The Irish word 'SLAN' is thought to be American for 'Goodbye, or So long.'
  20. The English use the word 'CHEERS' to mean 'Good luck, and goodbye.'
When I was a child I played like a child,
When I became a man I put away the things Of a child.

St.Paul



Pip Squeak

It has been said many times -'Give a dog a bad name and it sticks!'

I'm sure Tim's dad never intended the name 'Pip Squeak' to stick when his son was born, but it did. Had the dad been a little more perceptive he might have not used the expression ever. His little son was small at birth and his dad looking in at him on the cot jokingly said, "He's a little Pip Squeak". Alas, as the boy got older it was discovered he was going to be a "Small Person". Needless to say his dad felt very uncomfortable as people, not knowing the circumstances, stayed with the name 'Pip Squeak'.

As the child grew older he realized he was a Small Person but adapted to his stature and got on with life. He actually enjoyed his nickname and that in itself was a relief to his dad. His real name was Zacaeus. Remember how privileged he was. He was so small he had to climb a tree when he heard Jesus was passing through his village. Jesus spotted him up the tree and called him down.

That evening Jesus ate supper with him in his own house. How privileged we are that we can enjoy supper every day with Jesus in the Eucharist. He does not see smallness, nor does he see bigness. He sees us as we are - irrespective of size shape or color, All he asks, is that we love him in turn.

Let us be grateful for our grey hairs, our paunch, our apperance - it is how God loves.



ARE WE ALWAYS...?

ASKING FOR EXTRAS WHEN OUR PARENTS ARE UNABLE TO OBLIGE?
IGNORING GOOD ADVICE?
EXPECTING OUR SIBLINGS TO DO ALL THE CHORES?
LOOKING FOR THE EASY WAY OUT?
SEEKING THE FRIENDSHIP OF NEIGHBORS BEFORE FAMILY?
MAKING EXCUSES WHEN THERE ARE NONE?
HOPING TO BE THE POPULAR ONE?

If the answer to all of these is YES - you have a huge PROBLEM!

YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE!!!



IT IS GOOD TO REMEMBER...

HOW MUCH GOD LOVES US.
HOW KIND HE WAS IN GIVING US PARENTS WHO LOVE US.
THAT THE GREAT QUALITIES WE HAVE COME FROM GOD'S GRACES.
THAT HEALTH IS REALLY WEALTH.
THAT ON A DARK DULL DANK DAY THE SUN STILL CONTINUES TO SHINE.
THAT RAIN IS GOD'S GIFT TO COOL THE EARTH, TO HELP VEGITATION.
THAT FRIENDS ARE SPECIAL AND EQUALLY A BLESSING AT ALL TIMES.
THAT SHARING IS REALLY CARING FOR SOMEONE ELSE.
THAT LOVE CREATES A SPECIAL BOND BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE.
THAT WITHOUT FAITH LIFE IS VERY BARREN.

OF HOW MANY OF THE ABOVE CAN YOU BOAST -
Hopefully most of them. Bless you!



Most young people like to receive money when they celebrate special occasions. Whether it is a birthday, graduation or Communion Day. Most prefer money so they can buy what they like. Unfortunately not everyone understands money or its value. DO YOU?

  • $1 = how many pennies?
  • $5 = how many quarters?
  • $11 = how many dimes?
  • $4 + 10 dimes - $1.35c = ?
  • $19 + $10.37c - $2.56c = ?
  • $9 x 6 + $5.57c- $8.22c?
What is the cost for 4 adults to take a 2 day trip, when it costs $13.25 each?

Is each number a multiple of 3? Yes or No.

     1,746     43,709     111,999     2,876,973

Funny one:
HOW MANY COWS?
A farmer has cows and chickens. There are 18 animals in all. Together they have 48 legs. How many of each animal does the farmer have?

Correckt the fololwgin snetneecs.
High dlidde, dlidde, het tca nda the ddfile, the owc umjpde vero het nomo. The liltte ogd alguhde ot ese usch nuf nda the tac anr waya iwht the poons. Not all that easy - was it?

When I say Minnie...what do you say? YIMKCE!
When I say Dog...what do you say? TCA or Nma?

If I add 4 to 16 and multiply my answer by 5 and then subtract 15 from my answer with what am I left? If I add another 15 and then give half away how much do you think I will have?

God gave us 10 commandments. The church gave us 6. We have 7 Sacraments. Do you know them?

John Henry Cardinal Newman, a famous English man, who converted from Anglicism to Catholicism, once wrote the following: May he support us all the day long,
Till the shades lengthen and the busy world is hushed
And the fever of life is over and our work is done,
Then in his mercy may he give us a safe lodging
And a holy rest and peace at last. Amen

The Last Supper
All Christians know about the Last Supper - Do you know why it was called the Last Supper? Read about it in Luke 22: 1-38.

Grace Before Meals:
Bless us O Lord, and these your gifts, which we are about to receive from your bountiful hands, through Christ, our Lord. Amen.

Grace After Meals: We give you thanks Almighty God, for all you benefits who lives and reigns for ever and ever. Amen.



SAYINGS:

Most of us like to use different sayings or quotations. It brings a certain brightness to our conversations and many times impresses our listeners. There is, however, a different side to using such expressions. They are intended to express more fully what we are trying to say. So perhaps the following will help you IMPRESS when you are next in a serious conversation.

Men have sight; women have insight.
Women's styles may change, but their designs remain the same.
There is no limit to the power of a good woman.

Women were created to chasten men, not chase!
You must be captured before you can be liberated.
The shortest way to a man's heart is through is stomach.
Success is achieved through much hard work.

Don't decry the dark, light a candle.
One small light is a flicker, many small ones bring light.
History has a habit of repeating itself.
Before you can rise up, you must be down.

Nature equals Green leaf, Brown leaf or nature's cycle.
If one apple a day keeps the doctor away what will two do?
Every dog barks at his own front door - ask the mail man!
Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise!

If a cat has nine lives how come it dies only once?
Nature breaks through the eyes of a cat.
A red sky at night, shepherd's delight.
Water under the bridge, is water someplace else!



Have FUN with these:

A triangle has how many degrees?
Do you know the names of all the triangles?
You could have great fun searching for them...
    try your older brother or sister's math books, and you could be a winner.
A triangle has a right angle and an angle of 38° what is missing?
What is a rectangle?
If you join opposite corners and divide the rectangle into four parts...
    can you say how many triangles you can find?
Remember there is always a HIDDEN one!

Would you say you are an all round sort of guy? O All round! GET IT?

BET YOU GOT ALL OF THESE RIGHT! - RIGHT - I believe you.

+++++++++++++++++++


How many degrees does a circle have?
In terms of a circle what does 225* degrees represent?
What is a circumference?
Does the number of degrees change as the circle gets bigger or smaller?
What is the difference between a CUBE and a sphere?

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Or, are you a bit of a SQUARE! Get it? BIT OF A SQUARE!!

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REMEMBER! In Algebra you have to remember certain thing eg.
In multiplication in Algebra - you add the indices!
However... in division in Algebra you subtract the indices.

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Don't you just love it when things are so EASY?
Math is an easy subject -you make it difficult in your mind. Oh YEH!?
Go back to basics and you'll love MATH with a passion! Do you mean it?




For LITTLE ones

Can you unravel the following words?

Atc      Odg     oGd     Rahi     loDl     yBo

Can you read these sentences? If you write them down they will make sense:

  1. out ran boy The.
  2. ligr wsa het latl ofr reh gea.
  3. Mom bkesa a dogo kace.
  4. eichMla joensy yignpal lbalfoto.
  5. simgnmwi olve I yevre yda.

That was easy eh?

Can you correct these spellings?

ipasrh     hiarc     reabd     kilm     aryM     oJnh     miJ     ouhes     ebki

You are so clever. If you got all the spellings correct give you mom or dad a big kiss. They will love you for it.

How clever are you with math?

1+2=     1+4+2=     5+1=     1+1+1+6=     4-2=     5-1+1=     1+2+1=

3+2+     6+1+1=     8+2=     2+2+1+0=     3-2=     2-1+3=     4+2-2=

Write all EVERY problem down before you do any of them. Good luck!



Can you unravel the following words? The first one is easy. After that - good luck! Work across each line.

navan      nerdcihl      yerarp      seivl      iestosr
ujsse      tenavd      army      tssnia      lbieb
sieitatcvi      olcatihc      epop   vaehne      psrutcire

Score 15 - give yourself a round of applause - shoot you've found all of my mispelt rodws.
Score 14 - give your mum a guh - oops!
Score 10 - find the tac and eivg her a tteli tpa on the ttombo.
Score 8 - It si time to eb ince to uory add - it could ayp good ividdnesd.
Anthying below 8 find the icatdoirny and start your plelsgnis -lkei won!!!!

Try these...
If X is a number what is the value of X when you add 4+x and it equals 10?
If x equals 10 what is the missing number when 3 is multiplied by x?
F x is multiplied by itself, what does it equal in algebraic symbols?
Clever clogs! Hug your sister or brother once!

Try these too...
When X = 5 and is multiplied by itself then added to 5 it equals?
There are twenty five oranges in a bucket and x number of apples, if the total number of fruits equals 66, what value has x?

For the little ones - only!

2+2=      3+3=      5+1=

4-2=      5-3=      7-2=

2x1=      2x3=      1x6=

Well done guys - a great job! Treat yourself to a cookie! oops and oops again!!
Did I say the wrong thing? - - sorry!!!!!


Mums and Dads bet you found this page easy eh?



"Be good and if you cannot be good be careful."



Car Stickers

On a very small car... When I grow up I'm going to be a Rolls Royce
Catch me if you can and get a ticket - I'm a COP
Jesus can and does save us all - EVEN U
You may pass me - but only once!!!!
You have been warned - the wages of sin is death!
Pray now or PAY later...



Is it true: A lawyer is a person who names his daughter Sue?



Note from a kid in college...

Dear Mom and Dad,
I haven't heard from you in over a month.
Please send a check so I'll know you are all right...



Little boy praying:
Lord I'm O'K but my folks don't think so.
Maybe you'll tell them the cat did fall from the upper window!!
Nature breaks through the eyes of a cat -purr purr purr!
A dog's best friend is a person who likes to walk a lot.



I thank God for every day
I thank God for good parents
I thank God for good family





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